Getting Out Of My Own Way

Have you ever read something that you needed to read at the exact moment you needed to read it and it just rang true to you? This happened to me this morning when I read this blog post. It made me teary.

The fact is, I have been struggling over the past several weeks. Maybe it is the ‘post competition blues.’ But doubts, fears, insecurities and self-imposed limitations have been creeping in, making me feel, well, inadequate. In my rational mind I know that is not the case, but somewhere, back in that dark corner where the irrational hangs out… I have been building walls… giant walls!

It’s funny how something so insignificant can become significant, turning that mole hill into a mountain. Creating walls that have to be torn down, brick by brick.

I have been asking myself what is causing me to be my own obstacle. What is it that I need? What is the purpose? What am I hiding from ~ or running away from? I’m tired of these walls! I want to break through them and be the person I was meant to be! There will always be plenty of difficult obstacles in my path, I don’t have to be one of them!

Running In Circles

Let me take you back… In the beginning I was a bit of a mess. I didn’t know if I was still a runner or just an old, washed up, injured runner. For over a decade I had run. Distance was my friend. I would log 25, 35, 45 miles a week, just trying to lose the same fifteen pounds over and over. I always wanted that fitness model body, but could never achieve it. The more miles I ran the bigger I seemed to get. Sure, after a long run I would overcompensate with food. I had just run 20 miles, after all! I could eat whatever I wanted, Right?! The cycle was endless.

With twenty-five marathons under my fuel belt and a diagnosis of degenerative joint disease in my right knee, I decided to end my running career, something I felt defined me as a person. Surprisingly, I was okay with it. (my last run was February 6, 2011–The Surf City Marathon). Even now as I type this I am surprised at my lack of feeling for running. I feel like in a way I “outgrew” it, sounds silly, I know.

I started focussing on building muscle, which had always been the ultimate goal. Who knew that less cardio could be more when it came to building muscle…? Well, lots of people, I can be a slow learner sometimes. The weight started to come off and I was actually seeing muscle definition. My husband encouraged me many times to compete. I was not interested… AT ALL! As my body changed, so did my thinking. I started considering the possibilities. I contacted “The Diet Doc,” Dr. Joe Klemczewski, he answered all my questions, and I felt very confident that I would be able to work with him.

Fast forward one year… In May 2012 I began my competition prep phase- I signed up with Dr. Joe! I knew I wouldn’t be able to do tackle this goal by myself, I simply did not have the knowledge I needed. Joe set my macros and with Kori’s kick ass workouts, I was on my way! They made it so simple. Don’t get me wrong, it has been a lot of hard work! There have been ups and downs, many hours in the gym, daily calculations of protein/carbs/fat, and a lot of positive self talk. I have learned so much about myself through this journey…It’s no longer about finding myself, it’s about creating myself. I am no longer running in circles… I’m now on a course towards success!

I feel like I am a better person for being part of Team K!

Stay tuned…